Humor ...

Creation, Revisited

The Internet

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Quickly, he was faced with a class action lawsuit for failure to file an Environmental Impact Statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with a Cease and Desist Order from the earthly part. Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why He began his earthly project in the first place. He replied that He just liked to be creative.

Then God said, "Let there be light." And immediately the officials demanded to know how the light would be made: Would there be strip mining? Would there be pollution? God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make the light, assuming that no smoke would result from this ball of fire, that He would obtain a building permit, and to conserve energy He would only have the light half the time. So God agreed, and said He would call the light day, and the darkness night. The officials replied that they had no interest in semantics.

God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herbs and such." The EPA agreed, as long as it was only native seed used.

Then God said, "Let the waters bring forth creeping things, and life and fowl, that they may fly over the earth." And the building officials pointed out that this would require approval from the Department of Game and Heavenly Wildlife Federation, and the Audubon Angelic Association.

Everything was good, until God said He wanted to complete this project in six days. Officials said it would take at least 200 days to review the applications and the Environmental Impact Statements, and after this there would have to be a public hearing, and there would be ten to twelve months before the zoning commission could meet, and --

Then, at this point, God created Hell.