150 Questions To Ask Before Marriage
Compiled & Submitted by The L. Family
reprinted from Joy In The World Ministries
1. What do you believe concerning salvation? How does one get saved? What are they saved from?
2. What do you believe concerning baptism? Should it be done? If so, when and how?
3. Please share with us your testimony of salvation.
4. What do you believe concerning predestination? Do you feel we are predestined? Do you believe in free will?
5. Are you allowed to sin after you are saved? Why?
6. What is your beliefs concerning eternal security? Do you believe a person can lose their salvation? If so, how, how often, and when?
7. What do you believe about spiritual grace? What is it? What is it for? Does it free you from the law? Etc.
8. What do you believe concerning Heaven?
9. How many heavens are there? Who will go there? Etc.
10. What are your beliefs concerning Hell?
11. How many hells are there? Who will go there?
12. Is there such a place as purgatory? If so, who will go there? Etc.
13. Is there such a place as Limbo? If so, who will go there? Etc.
14. What do you believe concerning tithing? Should it be done? If so, when, how much, to whom, etc.?
15. What do you believe concerning the trinity? Three in one? Three are one? Three separate beings? Two are one? Two separate beings? One? Etc.
16. What do you believe concerning the doctrine of tongues? Do you believe that people talk in tongues today? What do you think it means to speak in tongues? If so, what guidelines should be followed concerning it?
17. What calendar do you believe to be the scripturally correct one?
18. What calendar do you use for spiritual holidays?
19. What role do you believe God’s law has in a Christian’s life? Mosaic law? Ceremonial law? Sacrificial law? Unclean laws (both meat and life)? To what extent should they be obeyed?
20. What do you believe concerning Christians keeping the feast days listed in scripture? Are there any particular things, or rules, concerning what Christians can and can’t do during them? Are there any parts that you don’t feel should, or can, be kept?
Passover / Unleavened Bread:
Pentecost / Firstfruits:
Day of Atonement:
21. What do you believe concerning the Sabbath? Should it be kept? If so, what day is it to be kept on today? What rules are there regarding it? What do you normally do on the Sabbath?
22. What do you believe concerning the intermingling of seed and cloth? What is it? Example: Is it permanent press? Should it be done.
23. What do you believe concerning divorce? Can one get a divorce? If so, what reasons, or basis, are allowed?
24. Once divorced, is a person allowed to marry again?
25. Should a person who was divorced and remarried, separate from their new spouse? Why or why not?
26. Should you separate from those who have divorced and remarried? Why or why not?
27. How do you feel about intermarriage between races? For others and for your own family?
28. What do you believe concerning non-resistance? Is there ever a time to fight? Should you defend your country? Your neighbor? Your family? Your belongings? Etc.
29. What are your beliefs concerning the tribulation period and rapture? Do you believe in Pre-Trib., Mid-Trib., Post-Trib., none of the above, etc.?
30. Do you believe that you should use sacred names? If so, which ones, and to what extent?
31. What are you beliefs/feeling concerning debt? Do you believe that it is wrong for a person to go into debt?
32. Is it OK to take out a mortgage?
33. Is it OK to use a credit card?
34. What are your feelings regarding self-sufficiency?
35. How do you feel about prejudice and racism?
36. What do your devotions consist of and how often do you do them?
37. What version(s) of the Bible do you feel to be correct and which one(s) do you use?
38. What do you believe is the correct authority chain? Who should obey who? Please answer regarding the police, the government, children, wives, husbands, the church, the pastor, God, and anyone else you feel is important?
39. Should you submit to the government? If so, to what extent?
40. Should the wife submit to the husband? If so, to what extent?
41. Should younger children submit to older children? If so, to what extent?
42. Are children to obey their parents even after marriage?
43. What church do you presently attend and do you plan to stay there?
44. What are your feelings about that church?
45. What do you see as the man’s role in the church?
46. What do you see as the woman’s role in the church?
47. How do you feel about age-segregation in the church? (youth groups, nurseries, Sabbath school, etc.)
48. What are your views of the church and it’s role in your life?
49. What are your views concerning employment? What income-producing (vocational) skills do you have? What are your thoughts about a home business? What job(s) do you have presently and/or plan to have in the future?
50. What is your view on women working outside of the home?
51. Do you presently live in a city, suburb, town, country, farm, seaside, mountains, desert? Where do you plan to live in the future?
52. What are your goals in life? How do you intend to use your interests, experiences, skills, and talents? What role would your spouse and children play in this?
53. What is your relationship like with your father? Mother? Sibling(s)? Grandparents?
54. What are your thoughts concerning the care of elderly parents? Should they be placed in a nursing home or cared for by the children?
55. What role does a husband play in a Christian family? A father? A wife? A mother?
56. What role do you think the two sets of parents should have in the life of you, your spouse, and your children?
57. Do you like children?
58. How many children do you want?
59. What are your views on spacing the births of children?
60. What are your views on birth control? (Yes/No? What types if any can be used? What types if any should not be used? Etc.)
61. What are your views on abortion?
62. What are your thoughts on adoption?
63. What are your feelings concerning homebirth?
64. Would you want your children to be born at home or in the hospital?
65. Should a male baby be circumcised? If so, when?
6. Should a man who was not circumcised do so? If so, when?
67. If circumcision should be done, do you have any beliefs/preferences about how circumcision should be done (there are different ways of doing it)?
68. What are your views on reasoning with a disobedient child? Why?
69. What are your views concerning the use of the rod on a child? Why?
70. What are your views regarding standing them in the corner?
71. What are your views regarding giving them 3 chances, or counting 1,2,3 before dealing with disobedience?
72. How young do you feel child training should start?
73. How old do you feel they should be when child training stops?
74. What do you feel is the purpose of child training?
75. What are your views about letting them “sow their wild oats”? during a certain stretch of time during their childhood?
76. What are your views concerning the belief that once children hit their teen years they will be rebellious?
77. Do you have any other views regarding child training?
78. What are your feelings concerning the medical field as it is today?
79. Do you believe that those in your family should be vaccinated? Other routine medical stuff?
80. Do you believe that only herbs should be used in case of sickness? Only medications? What are your preferences and/or expectations concerning their use in your family?
81. What are your beliefs concerning dress? What do you feel is modest versus immodest? What part(s) of the body should be covered? Is their a difference between the rules set for women and the rules set for men? For example: How long should the clothes be? Short sleeve or long sleeve? Style? Pants on women? Etc.
82. What are your beliefs concerning fringes?
83. What are your beliefs/feelings concerning children seeing their parents when their parents are not fully clothed? (Some feel this is okay even if they wouldn’t let anyone else see them that way, and some do not.)
84. What are your personal preferences concerning clothing for your family
85. Do you feel that women should wear jewelry? If so, which ones, types, and to what extent?
86. Do you feel that men should wear jewelry? If so, which ones, types, and to what extent?
87. What about engagement rings and/or wedding bands?
88. What would you expect concerning jewelry in your family?
89. What are your feelings concerning women wearing makeup?
90. What do you believe about head coverings? Are they needed? Are they a cloth, long hair, or both? If they are needed, are they needed all the time, some of the time, etc.? Is it age dependant?
91. How long do you believe a man’s hair should be?
92. How long do you believe a woman’s hair should be?
93. Are there hair styles that you believe to be contrary to scripture? If so, explain? What about buns, braids, dying hair (men or women)?
94. What do you feel about pony tails on boys?
95. What do you believe concerning beards? Should men have them? Should they not? What rules are there in scripture concerning them? What are your preferences concerning these things? What would you expect of your family?
96. How do you feel about home schooling?
97. Do you want your children homeschooled?
98. What kinds of toys do you feel are or are not acceptable for children to have? To play with? What guidelines do you have concerning this that you would have in your family?
99. What reading material do you feel is or isn’t acceptable? What would you expect in your home?
100. What style(s) of music do you feel to be acceptable and not acceptable? What would you expect in your home?
101. What are your beliefs concerning musical instruments? Should they be played? Are there some that should not? Should they be used in the church? What are your preferences in this area?
102. Do you like to sing?
103. How do you feel about playing card games? If you feel it is okay, which ones? Are there some you wouldn’t play?
104. What do you like to do for entertainment and how often? What hobbies do you have? What role will these things play in your home after you are married?
105. How do you feel about having a TV in your home? A VCR? If you believe that watching television is okay, what programs? If you believe that watching videos is okay, which ones (please give examples)? What guidelines do you place in your own life concerning this? What guidelines do you envision for your family?
106. How do you feel about swimming? Is it right or wrong? If you believe it can be done, what guidelines would you have for your family in this area?
107. How do you feel about drinking wine, alcohol? smoking?
108. How do you feel about dancing? Is it right or wrong? If you feel it is okay, which ones? Are there some that are not okay? What guidelines do you have concerning this?
109. Do you celebrate traditional holidays (Christmas, Easter, Halloween, etc.)? If so, which ones?
110. Do you celebrate traditional Jewish holidays (Hanukkah, etc.)? If so, which ones?
111. How do you feel about Jewish traditions? Do you keep them? Do you want to try to keep them?
112. Do you like physical work?
113. How clean/organized do you like your house, land, etc.? What expectations would you have of your spouse and/or family in this?
114. Are you an early or late riser? Do you go to sleep early or late? Is this what you plan on doing after you are married?
115. What temperature do you like your house at during the day?
116. What temperature do you like your house at when you are sleeping?
117. How flexible are you regarding the temperature of your house?
118. Are you a vegetarian in belief? If so, please explain.
119. Are you a vegetarian in practice? If so, please explain.
120. Are there any meats that you believe are wrong to eat? Why?
121. What meat(s) do you generally eat?
122. What do you wish your family to do concerning eating meat?
123. Do you know how to cook?
124. What kinds of food do you like or not like?
125. How many meals a day do you normally eat (some eat one, some two, some three)? How many big or small meals do you eat? (some have a small meal for lunch and a big meal for supper, some the other way around, some all big meals, others all small meals) Again, what expectations would you have of your spouse and/or family in this?
126. Do you have any allergies?
127. Do you or you family (including Grandparents) have any prior or present health problem?
128. Do you know how to sew? Good, bad, etc.?
129. What amount of control do you think the wife should have in the decoration and arranging of the house (there are some who leave this entirely up to the wife and there are some who don’t allow the wife any say at all in this)?
130. Do you like animals?
131. Do you have any animals?
132. Would you like to have animals in the future?
133. Briefly describe a typical week day in your life. A typical “day off” from work.
134. Briefly, what are some of your feelings concerning personal hygiene and cleanliness, neatness in dress, etc. What are some of your expectations in this area concerning your spouse?
135. What are your financial expectations?
136. Do you tend to be a scheduled person or an unscheduled person?
137. Do you tend to be more of a leader or more of a follower in life?
138. What are some things you are working on right now in your life?
139. What are some of your strongest strengths? Weaknesses?
140. What is your favorite way of avoiding conflict?
141. What do you most highly value in life? What next?
142. What are your thoughts on dating? Courtship? Betrothal? Have you done any of these? Explain.
143. Briefly stated, what do you think the process should be from start to finish in getting to the marriage alter? What do you think the parents involvement should be in this?
144. How do you feel about a “hands-off” relationship?
145. How do you feel about being chaperoned at all times?
146. What do you think the wedding should consist of? How expensive?
147. What about the honeymoon?
148. What do you believe should or should not be done during the first year of marriage?
149. What are you looking for most in a husband or wife?
What do you consider yourself?
V=Very S=Somewhat N=Neutral
Calm V S N S V Excitable
Domineering V S N S V Submissive
Cold V S N S V Affectionate
Suspicious V S N S V Trusting
Outgoing V S N S V Reserved
Insecure V S N S V Confident
Procrastinating V S N S V Prompt
Spendthrift V S N S V Economical
Happy-go-lucky V S N S V Careful planner
Realist V S N S V Dreamer
Indifferent V S N S V Sympathetic
Social V S N S V Anti-social
Serious V S N S V Frivolous
Relaxed V S N S V Anxious
Critical V S N S V Tolerant
Liberal V S N S V Conservative
Uncommunicative V S N S V Communicative
Self-sufficient V S N S V Dependent
Open V S N S V Secretive
Revengeful V S N S V Forgiving
Organized V S N S V Careless
Perceptive V S N S V Unobservant
Timid V S N S V Bold