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Defining Beauty: What Are We Teaching Our Children About Real Beauty?


We’ve all heard the saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” While there is a lot of truth to that statement, in this world we live in, people judge and are judged by the way they look.

Society has been so obsessed with external appearances. Media has consistently bombarded us with images of beautiful and flawless people as if they were descendants of the gods of Mount Olympus.

We have for so long held on to a false idea and definition of beauty that we’ve bought into the lie hook, line, and sinker.

Reality versus Truth

We grew up believing that you have to be of certain skin color, have a certain height, body type, or hair color, and dress a certain way to be attractive to people and accepted by society.

While there’s nothing wrong in possessing these qualities or undergoing certain treatments to improve one’s physical appearance — like lip injections, skin treatments, and other similar cosmetic improvements — the notion that beauty is only skin deep is one that needs to be revisited and redefined.

True beauty goes beyond the color of your eyes or your shade of melanin. It is defined by one’s character, charm, and confidence. It has to do with your personality and your personability. In short, beauty has to do with the entire package and not just the packaging.

Ignorance to this truth has wronged so many people of so many races on so many levels.

Raising Our Children to Know the Truth in Reality

mother and child

As parents, it is our responsibility to educate our children on how to appreciate beauty from the inside and not just what is visible.

Here are some ways that you can help your children build the right mindset and establish the right perspectives on beauty.

  • When your child puts on a display of good character, compliment them and tell them they’re doing a good job. When they seek appreciation for their physical appearance, give it to them along with praises for their noteworthy characteristics.
  • Ask your child what is attractive to them or what makes them feel pretty or handsome. You might get unexpected answers such as wearing mismatched shoes or putting that Power Rangers suit on. Reinforce this by helping them build their confidence in what makes them feel good abaout themselves.
  • Inversely, ask them what they don’t like about themselves. In most cases, they will give answers that have to do with their physical appearance rather than their character or personality. While it may be hard to listen to as a parent, you need to hear them out. Identify other notable role models with the same imperfections and show them how being different can be beautiful, too. Help them understand that they are beautifully and wonderfully made.
  • Don’t scrimp on the compliments and praises. Never let an opportunity to praise them go by. Tell them how good they look, yes, but in the same breath, tell them how wonderful, kind, talented, creative, gentle, and thoughtful they are. Don’t just focus on their physical appearance. Always include their inner beauty, too. Give them the affirmation they need and deserve.
  • Help your children understand that more than the facial features, the body types, and the nice clothes, a person’s true beauty is reflected in his or her heart. And that is something that cannot be judged by looks alone. Help them discover the truth of inner beauty in this superficial reality.

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